peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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