I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
