is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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