We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
