I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
