it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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