Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
