I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
