We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
