This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
