His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
