she woke up with a sticky ear
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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