dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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