I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize