He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
