I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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