Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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