Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
