i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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