Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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