Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
