you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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