My brain says no but my pants say off.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
pray to the hookup gods
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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