i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
