just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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