sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize