You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize