No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
