Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
