So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
