just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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