He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
