I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
