I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
