I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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