he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
