Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's blow job season.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize