At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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