No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
