she was so not down for the gang bang
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
