please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
