how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
