what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
