i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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