You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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