This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize