I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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