it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
