I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm getting married
To pizza
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
