that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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