I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
