I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
