Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize
