Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
