If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
