If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's shark week go big or go home
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
