i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
