I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
