I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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