Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
