I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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