i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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