it wasn't lemon gatorade
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize