Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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