My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize