My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
